thurs

another long day at work then took my car to get a/c fixed. sounds pretty mundane. When I'm tired things get harder and my emotions are harder to control.

doubt

 Doubt is something that invades my thoughts a lot. I worry what people are thinking about me. I always think the worst, it doesn't occur to me that somone may be thinking something good about me. I did that last night at a meeting. This was all because the chairperson pointed at me instead of calling me by name. Wow, it's strange how my mind works and how  I create problems when none exist. I talked to some new people last night and the flashbacks weren't there. I guess I felt comfortable sitting with a bunch of new people that I knew.

coping

My emotions are often raw and close to the surface. When I see or read something that brings me back to that traumatic time I feel the tears coming. It's not something I like to talk but it is something I need to talk about.

first time blogger

to friends of Bill W.:

I have decided to start blogging about some of my issues so that I may help others. I have been in the program since september of last year. My life has gotten so much better over the last nine months. Better that I thought it would ever be. I was abused at a young age and I am dealing with the problems that have arisen because of it. Some days are better than others and flashbacks are part of my life. Flashbacks are always there and I have begun to learn how to deal with them. I know there are many others out there that are going through the same thing that I am. I am plan on writing as often as possible about what I am going through and how I cope with it.

friends of Bill W.- I love you all.