control

When I talk to somone that is trying to help me I have a tendecy to excercise control over the conversation. It seems that way anyway. I listen and then figure out what my problem is. Then I self anlayze myself and admit what my problem is. I don't think I can accept what is wrong with me unless I say it loud myself. I want control over the healing process. I follow the path laid out for me and then come to conclusion that I was already being led to. If I say it loud and act as if I figured it out myself it is easier for me to accept. In the depths of my mind I think I know what my problem is I just have trouble admitting it. It is more comfortable for me to live in denial. I knew I had an issue with porn for a while but I couldn't accept it because I like it so much. I want to hold onto behavior that is harmful to me to feel like I am making my own decisions and I know what is best for me. I only make progress with a lot of help from others. I can't do anything on my own. I need to accept the reality of my situation and not live in denial.