pm tues

I'm not sure how i feel right now. I went to noon sla meeting. I kept thinking of excuses to not go. I was afraid to. Afraid to face others and share my pain. When I got there no one was there. I waited about 15 mins and finally somone came with a key. I am glad I went. I keep trying to tell myself that porn and mast. are not a problem for me. I know that if they weren't i could stop without a problem. I learned that much in aa. I have a lot of work ahead of me and i question wether i have the strength to get through it. I have to have faith and trust in God. I guess the pain is just hard to take sometimes. only time will tell.