comfort and fear

just got back from meeting. It is one of those that is more of a social occasion than anything. I am more comfortable talking to the new people than I am trying to interact with the people that I already know. I still feel like I have to fit in. I want acceptance but I shouldn't need it. I'm still afraid of people that I have known for I while and have already accepted me. I am in constant need of validation from people I know or I start thinking that people don't like me. Getting to know the new people is the reason I go. helping other people in pain is one of the only things that  makes me feel better. I remember the pain and fear when I was in early recovery. The pain and fear are still with me but I can actually function and work through the fear. I need to get a good night's sleep tonight six hours just isn't enough.