sometimes its hard

Went to see my sponsor at his house today. Started getting uncomfortable right away. Started having intrusive thoughts that kept getting worse. He turned off the tv and it was very quiet. The flashbacks came and I couldn't really control. I finally told him I had to leave. when I got in the car I got very depressed and wanted to cry. It was a combination of intense depression and fear. I got calmed down by the time i got to the meeting but still felt uncomfortable and kept having thoughts. I was real bad for a couple of hours. from the time I got to my sponsors for about two hours. tired now.