relief

I talked to my roomate today and made amends. Making amends is hard for me but it always helps. It removes all that clutter from my head and believe me I have a lot of clutter. I find that working on myself is a tough and ongoing project. I never get a day off. I do have good days though, something that I didn't have before. I have a strong emotinal reaction when I read and watch movies. It's hard to deal with because I often have to try not too cry in front of others. I guess it's my ego. I don't want to appear to be weak or helpless. I want to change it but I also don't want to become numb to everything around me. Maybe because I numb myself for so long I got used to not feeling a lot of that pain. Now i have to deal with that pain. I am still learning how.